PurgatoryCove

Internet Flim-flammery

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. We did have a little excitement earlier in the week, though. Ever since the “green marina” debacle a year or so ago, Lefty and Wade have been screenin’ Sam’s mail and hiddin’ those fancy magazines. They always give Sam ideas and that always translates to more work for Lefty and Wade.

It seems they missed an issue of “Magnificent Marinas” and Sam got his hands on it. There was this article on an internet website, called ActiveCaptain or something like that. Anyway, the gist of the article was that you could put information about your marina on this chart that popped up on the screen and boaty type folks would see it an come to your place of business. Sam is always looking for new money, er business, especially if it involves more work for Lefty and Wade.

Now Sam is a real stranger around computers and the internet but he has an advisor. That would be Nancy, the waitress down at Tooties. She’s no rocket scientist either but she’s light years ahead of Sam. Her main claim to computer fame is buying and selling pot holders on EBay.

So Sam heads down to meet with his advisor right after readin’ the magazine article. The website turned out to be simple enough that Nancy was able to put Purgatory Cove on the little chart on the screen. Between her and Sam, they filled in all the blanks with information about Purgatory Cove. Some of it was even a little close to the truth.

Sam heads back to the Cove and cools his heels for a couple of days, waiting for the flood of customers to arrive. Well, low and behold, the next thing the guys see is this 50 plus footer pokin’ her nose into the cove. The boat driver was real good, he only ran here around once and that was on the soft mud outflow from the fertilizer plant. He quickly backed off and moved to a different part of the cove.

Next thing they do is drop this little dinghy off the top deck of the trawler and head in to the gas dock. Lefty and Wade were takin’ a break by the gas pumps and bait shack and said hello as the young couple pulled up. The guy had a clip board with some papers on it and they both had this quizzical “well the hell am I?” look on their faces.

The guy proceeds to start askin’ some questions and Lefty and Wade, having partaken of a long neck or two, felt compelled to answer.

 

Q: Is this Purgatory Cove Fish Dock & Marina?

A: Yup.

 

Q: Where is the diesel pump?

A: Ain’t got one.

 

Q:Where is the pool?

A: Ain’t got one.

 

Q: Where is the restaurant?

A: Nearest one is Tooties and that’s about two mile down the road.

 

Q: Where’s the Ship’s Store?

A: Ain’t got no stores around here that sell ships but there’s the Unclaimed Freight & Grocery Store next to Tooties.

 

            Well, each answer seemed to puzzle the couple more and more and he kept makin’ marks on his clipboard. They seemed nice enough but Lefty and Wade couldn’t figure out where these questions were comin’ from.

            ‘Bout this time, Sam shows up from another meeting with his “advisor”. He takes one look at the trawler out in the Cove and turns white as a sheet. Lefty and Wade turn and look at the same boat and all they see is this logo on the side of the boat, “ActiveCaptain”. Turns out the couple run the website and were out cruising. They noticed the new marker on their little chart and decided to stop by on their way south.

            Well, Sam owned up to the fact that he and Nancy might have stretched the truth about Purgatory Cove just a trifle. The couple took it real well and laughed about it. They told Sam to correct the stuff that he and Nancy had put on the chart and Sam said he would. With that, the couple said goodbye, got back into their dinghy and went back to the boat. Soon after, they were leaving the Cove. That guy was as good goin’ out as he was comin’ in, didn’t touch bottom once, not even on the Flats outside the Cove.

            Sam promptly forgot about correctin’ the erroneous information. A couple of days later, Nancy asked if he wanted to check his listing on the website. Well, it turns out the couple had the last laugh, they moved the marker for Purgatory Cove way out into the far reaches of the Bay, where nobody would ever be able to find the Cove.

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

The Great Forklift Caper…

Well, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove. It comes after a kinda’ hectic week last week. It all started about a week ago Tuesday. This big rig rumbled on down the road to the Cove. It had one of those big rubber tired forklifts on it.

 

Well, it pulled into what passes for a parkin’ lot here at the Cove and this guy in a suit gets out of the passenger side of the big rig. He was lookin’ around like he was lost or at least puzzled when Sam walked up to him. After talkin’ to Sam for a couple of minutes the guy starts turnin’ gray around the gills.

 

The rig’s driver gets down and joins in the conversation with Sam. Lefty and Wade started gettin’ a little interested in the threesome and wandered over to hear what was goin’ on. Turns out Sam had filled out one of them bingo cards in the back of “Magnificent Marinas” magazine askin’ for a demo of the big forklift.

 

It was plain to see from the salesman guys face that Sam had exaggerated the Cove a mite when he filled out the card. He was all for turnin’ the rig around and headin’ back with it. The driver and Sam pointed out that it was already here and he might as well leave it for the trial period. Sam had served up a coupla rounds of his Special Recipe by this time so the salesman guy finally said okay. Or passed out, no one was quite sure.

 

The long and the short of it was that Sam ended up with the loan of the humongous forklift for a week. Now the company thought it had a chance of sellin’ one of these things, but Lefty and Wade, and now the salesman, knew different.

 

See, Sam had this plan to clean out the back lot of the Cove with this critter. You know the area, where all the old boats go to die. For a change both Lefty and Wade were up for it, they decided to take turns trying out the new toy. It had to be more fun than runnin’ the old Travel Lift around.

 

Lefty got first dibs at it. He headed out to the back lot with his eyes on the old wooden sailboat that had been moldering away for years. He decided to pick it up under the keel with the forks. After lining up to one side of her, he went at it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t all that used to running the thing and accidently raised the forks.

 

He hit that big wood sailboat broadsides just above the lead ballast keel. Them forks went in one side and clean out the other. Well, Lefty sat there puzzlin’ about it for a minute and decides that since he at least firmly speared the thing, he might as well pick it up and move it over to where they were goin’ to burn her for the salvage metal.

 

So he raises up the forks. The boat lifted up. Unfortunately, it was so rotten the ballast keel stayed behind. The hull teetered on the forks for a minute, now severely top heavy without the keel attached. Lefty watched in amazement as the boat slowly rolled towards him, mast and all.

 

Luckily, that big forklift had this cage around where Lefty was sittin’. That saved Lefty’s bacon and only slightly bent up that cage. Sam figured a little black paint would hide everything.

 

Well, Wade thought he could do a mite better, so he took over from Lefty. Wade decided to move that old thirty foot powerboat lyin’ next to the fence. He learned from Lefty’s mistake and slowly approached the old hull with the forks at the right level, as slow and as easy as you please.

 

Wade carefully lifted up the boat and got it turned around and headed over to where they were goin’ to cut her up. He was so pleased with himself that he forgot about that drainage ditch running from the boat shed to the Cove, right across where he was headed.

 

Sam and lefty were out in front of him waving their arms to get him to slow down. ‘Course he couldn’t see them from behind the boat. Well, the front wheels of the forklift hit the ditch. It turned out that the thirty footer was plumb full of water. That was evident when the bow popped off on one side of the forks and the stern off the other.

 

A long about 2,000 gallons of the most ugly, smelly concoction of old bilge water, oil and diesel came surging out of the broken hull, inundating both Sam and Lefty. They were not pleased to say the least.

 

Lefty and Wade kept after it for most of the week. They finally got most of the old boats cleaned out and over to the burn pile. The final count was something like four broken boats for Lefty, three for Wade and a few more successfully moved. Oh and a few more dings on the forklift. Well, actually more than a few.

 

Long about Friday the salesman guy shows up again with his driver and the big rig, ready to load the demo unit back up and take it away. Lefty and Wade didn’t think it looked too bad but the salesman actually cried when his saw his now less than immaculate forklift.

 

Just to make the guy’s day complete, Sam comes over and tells him his forklift uses too much diesel and Sam don’t want to buy it after all. Not that he ever did. That truck driver ended up havin’ to load the forklift on the back of his truck all by hiself. That salesman guy was plumb useless, sittin’ in the cab banging his head on the dashboard.

 

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove Fish Dock & Marina.

Lefty. Wade and the Special Recipe…

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. Lefty and Wade are spending time in the boat shed next to the wood burning stove. Sam’s spending time down at Tootie’s next to Nancy, the waitress. That’s fine with lefty and Wade; cause that keeps Sam out a their hair and not makin’ work for them.

Lefty and Wade are kinda’ on the outs with Sam anyhow. Seems Sam cut off their supply of the special recipe. Sam got all bent out of shape when he kept finding things the guys were usin’ the stuff for, non drinkin’ wise. Between the time they put it in the pickup tank to fix the water problem, usin’ it for thinnin’ out the bottom paint and spikin’ the go-fast guy’s fuel, the supply was way down and Sam’s momma was runnin’ out of the base for makin’ more.

Her cousin Bubba wasn’t gonna get out of the county jail down in Florida any time soon, so the likelihood of getting a fresh supply of base was pretty slim. That set Lefty and Wade conjecturing about making their own recipe. They knew most of the added ingredients that momma used in the mix ‘cause they usually got stuck going to the grocery and unclaimed freight store to get them.

That just left the matter of the base for the recipe. Wade and Lefty stopped by the Paradise Liquor and Taxidermy Shop to see what Clem had in the way of high test hooch. They came across some rum on the far side of 150 proof. Clem cautioned them on account of the stuff was flammable and they shouldn’t be partaking around the woodstove in the boat shed, at least when it was lit. He didn’t say anything about what to do when the guys were lit.

They made a few other stops in town and headed back to the Cove. Inside the boat shed, Lefty rounded up an empty antifreeze bottle, you know, the pink stuff they dump in the water tanks to keep them from freezin’. Wade’s wasn’t real impressed eith Lefty’s choice of container so he had him wash it out with the pressure washer.

Well, it actually took three jugs to get one clean. The first one shot off like a rocket when Lefty stuck the nozzle into the bottle as Wade fired up the washer. Lefty was a little more careful the second time, but it must of been a weak jug, cause it blew the bottom clean out. The third one was a charm even though Lefty did get a little wet.

Wade dug out a semi-clean funnel and they proceeded to pour the quart of rum into the now clean jug. They threw in a couple of sticks of cinnamon, three or four whole cloves, a couple of star anise, some ginger and a nutmeg they crushed with a hammer. To top it off, they whittled the outer peel of a couple of oranges and a couple of lemons and threw that in. Wade put the cap on the jug and swished it around a little and then poured a little sample for them.

After Lefty could talk again, he allowed as how the had forgot the raw sugar momma put in the mix. Wade snuck into momma’s kitchen, she was watchin the wrestlin show at the time, and “borrowed” the sugar. Lefty allowed that it toned down the mix a bit but thought it would have to sit a spell to really develop the full flavor, but they was on the right track.

They stashed the jug in the big tool box, where they knew Sam wouldn’t ever go and forgot about it, at lest for a couple of days. The next sample turned out about as good as the real recipe. The guys cleaned out another jug, stretched a pretty clean shop rag across the top of the funnel and filtered the batch through it.

Sam was a little puzzled when the guys stopped grousing about him not letting them have any more of his special recipe. He was more puzzled when they started willingly leaving the office to go out to the cold boat shed. But he just shook his head before he headed down to see Nancy at Tootie’s.

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

Winter’s on its way – don’t bother us..

            Well, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove. Actually, more like a slow month. Winter’s coming and work around Purgatory Cove is slowing down, not that it was ever very fast.

            Most of the boats that are coming out are already out. Not that Purgatory Cove freezing over is a problem. The run-off from the fertilizer plant keeps that from happening. Willy still goes out in his crabbin skiff every morning, but we all think that is just to get away from Glenda, his wife.

            Wade and Lefty have pulled their Carhartts out of their closets where they stood them up last year and have them on most mornings. They got the stove pipe for the woodstove in the boat shed patched. Soon they’ll be spending more time next to the stove and less out at the bait shack or in the yard. They did move the beer cooler to just outside the boat shed last week. Now they’re arguing over who got the firewood last year and how much they’ll need. Most of the wood comes from the old pallets they swipe from the fertilizer plant. Every once in a while they’ll accidentally throw in a piece of an old creosoted railroad tie and start a chimney fire. Sam stays warm in the office with Sally or down at Tooties with Nancy.

            The boys down at the hunting club are talkin’ about rebuilding the duck blind for use out on the flats. Hurricane Isabel took it out and they’ve been talking’ ever since about getting a new one. If things go as they usually do, they’ll talk about until the season is over and the ducks are gone. The ducks know it’s not there as they congregate on the flats almost every day now.

            We still get a few owners visiting their boats, checking tarps and the like. They’ll wander round the yard for a while and then join Wade and Lefty next to the stove. They’ll eye the beer cooler but Lefty’s got a photographic memory as far as who brought them longnecks during the season. Most leave thirsty.

            Sam, Wade and Lefty are arguing about fixin’ the boat shed before the winter rains start. The boat shed is an old war surplus Quonset hut. The top’s a little rusty in spots and it leaks somewhat. Sam wants it fixed right, but Wade and Lefty are holding out for just pulling another blue tarp over the top. Wade’s main arguments is the his pilot buddy, Elmer, says that the local pilots all use the blue tarp against the rust red shed as a local marker for landing at the grass strip near town. Sam’s not convinced.

            Sam’s Momma is working on a new batch of Special Recipe. The supply’s a little short right now because Wade and Lefty keep using it to light the woodstove. Sam really blew a gasket when he found Lefty winterizin’ the water system in the judge’s boat with some of the Special Recipe. Sam says that it’s for internal use only, but Wade and Lefty, who drink just about anything that pours, usually don’t touch it.

            Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

 

A failure to launch…

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. Lefty and Wade are alternating between their seats on the crates out by the bait shack and the cooler inside the old Quonset hut that serves as the boat shop. You can guess what’s inside the cooler.

 

Business has been kinda slow, what with the economy and all. The fertilizer plant going down to three days a week put a serious crimp on a lot of local budgets. Sam did manage to sell one of the old boats hanging around the back of the storage yard. It was one of those old fiberglass fishin’ boats. The trailer it was sittin’ on was probably worth more than the boat itself.

 

The two old geezers who bought it were happy as clams. Then they climbed aboard and one ‘em put his foot through the rotten deck. Didn’t seem to faze them, though, said they were goin’ to replace the deck anyhow.

 

Lefty and Wade kept an eye on there progress, stoppin’ by from time to time. Actually, what they were keeping an eye on was the big cooler those two drug out to the boat every day. You can guess what’s inside the cooler.

 

Well, before you knew, those two old gents had the old plywood floor sittin’ on the ground beside the boat and trailer. Next time Lefty and Wade stopped by, the intrepid boat repairers had hauled out a couple a sheets of that pressure treated plywood, you know, that green colored stuff that looked like it was made from the bottom of the wood pile.

 

Of course, they set it down along side the boat and went on to other things. Well, it rained and that plywood curled up like a pretzel. Didn’t stop them though. They proceeded to haul the wood inside the boat and cut it to shape. The problem was, when they got the center flat, the edges curled up. When they got the edges flat, the center curled up.

 

After thinking about the problem for awhile, they took off for town. Came back with a big box of galvanized deck nails. They thought, since the box said deck, it’d be just the thing for their little problem.

 

Well, they started screwing down that plywood, using the deck nails and a big power screwdriver. They started in the center of the boat, with one of ‘em standing on the seam while the other applied the screws.

 

“Course, it was hot out and they had to keep openin’ up the cooler for a little liquid refreshment from time to time. Then it was back to screwing that deck down. They actually managed to get it pretty flat, too. Around the edges, where the deck met the bottom of the hull was a little tricky so they had to put a screw in evey three of four inches.

 

Got that deck on and gave it a couple coats of gray porch paint and it didn’t look half bad. They decided to giver ‘er a try before finishing everything else. They “borrowed” an outboard from a neighboring boat and clamped it on the transom.

 

Lefty and Wade were watching the launching from the shade of the old boat shed. One old geezer was in the boat and the other was drivin’ the old Ford pickup. After a couple of tries, they got the trailer mostly lined up with the ramp and proceeded to back the boat into the water.

 

It didn’t come off the trailer.

 

The geezers pulled the boat back out and unhooked the tie down straps. The second attempt to back down the ramp went a little better. However, the boat stayed firmly on the trailer and showed no signs of coming off, so they pulled it out again.

 

“Bout this time Lefty and Wade started to get interested and wandered over to see what was goin’ on. Both geezers were standin’ there scratching their heads, perplexed by the whole thing.

 

Lefty got down on his hands and knees and crawled underneath the boat and trailer. Sure enough, right along the bottom of the hull, where the deck met the hull on the inside, was a long row of 2-1/2” galvanized deck nails pokin’ through the bottom. Lefty followed the nails down the bottom of the boat to where they hit the wooden trailer bunks. Sure enough, the old geezers had screwed the boat firmly down to the trailer.

 

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

Your one stop boat service guys. Well, maybe…

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. The only excitement we had was last Tuesday. Seems one of those new-fangled power boats wandered into the cove. You know, the kind with all the swoopy curves and this fancy hoop over the stern. It was a BayRay or SeaLiner or something like that.

Anyway, it comes limping up to the fish dock with the motor spittin’ and sputterin’ like there’s no tomorrow. The guy climbs out and tells Lefty and Wade that his spark plugs are fouled and he needs them changed. Well, Lefty is the nearest thing we got to an engine mechanic so he takes over the conversation.

Lefty asks him what engine he’s got in the boat.  The guys says, “it’s blue.” Well, that kinda set Lefty off so he says, “sorry, we only got red and green plugs today.” Which wasn’t entirely true as Lefty don’t keep no stock of them at all. Just then the guy’s wife and kids comes out of the cabin so Lefty gets off his high horse and offers to look at the engine.

Once below, he finds it ain’t blue at all, its black. One of the Chevy engine blocks converted to boat use. Kida like what Lefty does to crabbin’ boats when their engine wear out, only this one was prettier. Being a Chevy, the plugs was as common as hens teeth. Down at NAPA of course, not here.

So Lefty tells the gent he’s got a special engine that takes special plugs and he’ll have to see if he has them. Lefty ducks into the boat shed and closes the door. Unbeknownst to the boat guy, Lefty sneaks out the back way and jumps on his bike to pedal down to the NAPA store. The fancy boat store is actually closer but their prices are even higher than what Lefty usually charges. He had to use the bike ‘cause Sam had the pickup down at Tooties, again.

Lefty picks up the plugs for about a dollar three ninety eight a piece and heads back to the Cove. Once there he goes below and changes the plugs. He figures he’s pedaled to town and back plus changed the plugs, so he sits down to take a break. While  he’s sittin’ below, he pulls out an old envelope and starts written up the bill. Eight plugs at $19.95 a plug plus three hours labor and Lefty figures he’s got most of his weekly wages made and can spend the rest of the week fishin’ without Sam complaining too much.

Lefty climbs up out of the engine space and is all ready to present his bill to the poor unsuspecting boat driver. Just then he spies the guy’s wife and kids, seated on the stern seat with looks of concern and dejection of their faces. “Are we going to be able to finish our trip?”, quavers the boy.

Lefty, the guy with larceny in his heart, pulls the envelope out and starts refiguring the bill. He hands the bill to the boat driver, who then digs two twenties and a ten out of his billfold and hands it to Lefty. The kids and wife cheer up and the boat guy is happy.

They crank the engine up, which now sounds great, and head out the cove. Meanwhile, back at the fish dock, Wade is rollin’ around on the dock laughing at Lefty, sayin’ he didn’t realize what a soft touch Lefty was and what was he goin’ to use for beer money this week. Lefty just nudged him off the dock and walked back to the boat shed.

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

Customer Appreciation Day (In your dreams).....

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. It’s still a little early in the season so the guys have some spare time to kill in the boat shed. The other day, Lefty and Wade were chewin’ the fat when the new manager from the fancy boat store walked in. The guys, not bein’ particularly prejudiced, invited him to pull an old crate and sit a spell.

Before you knew it, Clem, from the grocery and unclaimed freight store, also stopped by. The delivery geezer from the NAPA store dropped off some parts and pulled up the broken chair to take a load off.

Sure enough, whenever a bunch of retail type folks get together, the conversation switches to memorable customers they’d dealt with. The fancy boat store guy was complainin’ about sailors never spending any money in his store while his power boaters wanted everything right now.

Wade allowed he’d not had much of a problem with the sailors at the Cove. They seemed happy to pay whatever Wade charged. But it may have just been that they were so anxious to get out of the cove and away from the fertilizer plant.

The NAPA guy complained that none of the boaty type customers they got had any idea of what they were looking for. He allowed as how one recently stopped by to pick up a set of spark plugs for his I/O. When asked what engine he had, his only answer was that the engine was blue. The NAPA guy told the customer that they only had black and green plugs in stock.

The fancy boat store guy tried to top that with what he called his whistle-pisser customers. They’d come in and ask the price of something expensive, like a heavy duty starter for a big block Chevy marine engine. When told the price, the customer would let out a long, low whistle. After pondering for awhile, he then pipe up and ask to use the restroom. A real whistle-pisser.

Wade and Lefty mentioned that knowing your customer was a sure way to increase sales and profits. Just last year they repaired the Judge’s fishing boat. The Judge complained about the amount on the invoice. Wade then asked him who was that cute little thing baiting his hooks last week, The Judge then paid promptly and included a big tip.

It turned out that Clem had the fewest customer stories. It seemed no one complained about the prices on the unclaimed freight items. As far as the food prices went, he was still cheaper than the nearest supermarket, two towns down.

It was the fancy boat store guy that ended up topping all the stories, though. He sold an expensive radio to a customer who wanted to install it himself. It was one of those big marine VHF units with the fancy display screen and all those buttons.

The next day the customer shows up, yelling about the radio being faulty and who was going to pay for all the time he spent installing a bad radio. Seems he couldn’t get the radio to switch from channel 16. After a few minutes the customer kinda sputtered out.

The fancy boat store guy picks up the radio and studies it a bit. He then peels the channel 16 decal off the display screen and hands the radio back to the suddenly quiet and sheepish customer. Well, the guys realized they couldn’t top that one so they just kinda' gave up and drifted away.

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

We can spell chemistry; we just can’t do it...

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. Kinda quiet, too, as Lefty and Wade are both recovering from their last (mis)adventure. Seems Wade has a habit of watching those educational channels on his 10” TV. That, in itself is an adventure as there isn’t any cable out here at the Cove. So whatever he gets is kinda fuzzy and hard to understand.

Anyway, he’s been hearin about makin your own fuel from used french fry oil. He always thought the deep fryer oil at Tooties should be changed more often than it is so it seemed like a good idea to try out this new process.

Sam was more than a little skeptical but went along with it. Actually, he was more interested in what seemed like a good excuse to visit Nancy, the waitress at Tooties. In any case, he started bringing back the oil, bucket by bucket.

Wade had moved a couple of the old 55-gallon barrels inside the boat shed. He figured, since nobody would be consuming the oil, he didn’t need to clean them out. At last count he had an old antifreeze barrel, a couple of outboard oil drums and a no-name drum they swiped from the fertilizer plant.

After a couple of months, Wade thought he had enough old oil to start. And believe me, after a couple of months, that oil was ripe. This whole process depended on Wade remembering the things he’d seen on the TV shows. The problem with that is that Wade only watches TV after a couple of long necks, says it makes the programs make more sense. The other problem is that he often falls asleep in the middle of the show and only wakes up at the end.

He did remember that the process needed alcohol and lye to turn the oil into usable fuel. The lye was no problem, the grocery and unclaimed freight store in town had a couple of cases of the stuff slowly deteriorating in the back room.

The alcohol was a little bit more of a problem. Wade would have liked to use Sam’s Special Recipe, but it would take just too much, Sam would be sure to notice. As it was, Wade did take a little. To that he added some white lightening that came from a still that had a lead soldered radiator for a cooling coil. To top it off he added some old alcohol based horse liniment from the unclaimed freight place.

It must have been at this point of the show that Wade fell asleep, because he stood there scratchin his head, and other parts, wondering what to do next. Here’s where Lefty stood up to the challenge. He reckoned he’d had a chemistry set when he was a kid and this was just up his alley.

He took to mixin up the lye with some water and dumped it, along with the alcohol mix and the used french fry oil into a couple of the empty drums. They immediately started to bubblin and gurglin to the point they guys were afraid they might explode.  After a bit, the barrels settled down and the boys started agitatin them by rolling the barrels back and forth in the boat shed.

When Lefty was finally satisfied that the process was complete, he hoisted up the first barrel with the fork lift and started filtering out the home made fuel.

About this time, he Judge stopped by to check out his boat and see what the guys were up to. Wade proudly explained their experiment and how much they were going to save by not having to pay four bucks a gallon for gas. The Judge rocked back on his heels and asked both of them if they realized that this process made biodiesel fuel, not gasoline. Well, that really put a damper on the whole deal as there wasn’t a diesel engine at Purgatory Cove, not counting the road grader the county road crew lost. Lefty looked at Wade and Wade allowed as that was probably a place where he’d fell asleep.

There was a silver lining to this escapade, though. The fertilizer company bought all the mix for use by their pesticide division.

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

Winter’s on its way – don’t bother us...

            Well, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove. Actually, more like a slow month. Winter’s coming and work around Purgatory Cove is slowing down, not that it was ever very fast.

            Most of the boats that are coming out are already out. Not that Purgatory Cove freezing over is a problem. The run-off from the fertilizer plant keeps that from happening. Willy still goes out in his crabbin skiff every morning, but we all think that is just to get away from Glenda, his wife.

            Wade and Lefty have pulled their Carhartts out of their closets where they stood them up last year and have them on most mornings. They got the stove pipe for the woodstove in the boat shed patched. Soon they’ll be spending more time next to the stove and less out at the bait shack or in the yard. They did move the beer cooler to just outside the boat shed last week. Now they’re arguing over who got the firewood last year and how much they’ll need. Most of the wood comes from the old pallets they swipe from the fertilizer plant. Every once in a while they’ll accidentally throw in a piece of an old creosoted railroad tie and start a chimney fire. Sam stays warm in the office with Sally or down at Tooties with Nancy.

            The boys down at the hunting club are talkin’ about rebuilding the duck blind for use out on the flats. Hurricane Isabel took it out and they’ve been talking’ ever since about getting a new one. If things go as they usually do, they’ll talk about until the season is over and the ducks are gone. The ducks know it’s not there as they congregate on the flats almost every day now.

            We still get a few owners visiting their boats, checking tarps and the like. They’ll wander round the yard for a while and then join Wade and Lefty next to the stove. They’ll eye the beer cooler but Lefty’s got a photographic memory as far as who brought them longnecks during the season. Most leave thirsty.

            Sam, Wade and Lefty are arguing about fixin’ the boat shed before the winter rains start. The boat shed is an old war surplus Quonset hut. The top’s a little rusty in spots and it leaks somewhat. Sam wants it fixed right, but Wade and Lefty are holding out for just pulling another blue tarp over the top. Wade’s main arguments is the his pilot buddy, Elmer, says that the local pilots all use the blue tarp against the rust red shed as a local marker for landing at the grass strip near town. Sam’s not convinced.

            Sam’s Momma is working on a new batch of Special Recipe. The supply’s a little short right now because Wade and Lefty keep using it to light the woodstove. Sam really blew a gasket when he found Lefty winterizin’ the water system in the judge’s boat with some of the Special Recipe. Sam says that it’s for internal use only, but Wade and Lefty, who drink just about anything that pours, usually don’t touch it.

            Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.

Wade to the rescue…

Well, it’s been a slow week here at Purgatory Cove. There was a little bit of excitement earlier in the week. Clem, the proprietor of the Paradise Liquor Store and Taxidermy Shop had bought one of the old houseboats layin’ around the yard here. He’s been workin’ on it off an on. He finally got it back in the water and tied up to one of the docks.

Lefty and wade were lounging around the bait shack when they heard a commotion down the dock. They ambled over to see what was the matter. Clem was standing in the stern locker of his house boat screaming that he was sinking.

To understand what was happening, you need to know a little history about this particular boat, you see it was originally equipped with one of those inboard/outboard deals. You know, the collision between and outboard and a Chevy engine. Well it seems the Chevy up and croaked and the owner at the time decided to pull the engine and junked it. He bolted on this cobbled together piece of iron work on the stern and mounted an outboard on it. It wasn’t pretty but it did move it around.

Wanting to make the old engine compartment more useful, he torched out all the old engine mounts. It soon filled up with old lines, some old tires he used as bumpers and generally a motley collection of junk. Now Clem, being the meticulous kinda guy he was, cleaned all that stuff out, right down to the rusty steel hull.

On the day in question, he was down in the compartment with an angle grinder with this big wire brush on it, just a grindin'; away on the old rust. Next thing he knew he’d wire brushed right through the bottom where the torch had got a little too close. Water was spurtin’ in and risin’ around his ankles.

Of course there was no bilge pump in there, at least not one that worked. Several of the guys were trying to drag old bilge pumps, hoses and batteries down the dock, trying to help old Clem out. Wade mossied over and took stock of the situation.  After a moment or two, he headed off to the boat shed.

Once there, he pulled out an old plastic garbage bag, a length of fiberglass cloth about a foot wide and twice as long and a tube of that expensive goop they got to work on the Judges boat. He laid the fiberglass cloth on the plastic bag and proceeded to spread the tube of goop on the cloth, spreading it out with one of those plastic spreader you get down at the auto supply store.

Once he had it spread pretty good, he picked up the bag with the cloth and goop on it and headed back down the dock. He got Clem calmed down and out of the compartment. He had Clem jump off the dock next to the stern of the boat and handed him the piece of gooped up cloth. Clem took a deep breath and ducked under the stern. It took him a try or two but he got that cloth patch up against the hole in the bottom. Once the patch was near the water coming in sucked it right up against the hull and sealed the leak quick as a wink.

Then they hauled Clem back out of the water and cleaned him up. The leak was stopped but Clem insisted on haulin’ the boat back out and welding it up. Some people just don’t trust that modern goop.

Other than that, it’s been a slow week here in Purgatory Cove.